Everyone is unhappy right now. People are losing their homes. People are losing their shirts in the stock market. People are losing sleep over the election.
There are, however, a lucky few who have reasons to be happy:
1. Tina Fey: Woman of the year even before she won 3 Emmys last weekend
2. The librarian at the Wasilla library: Who finally has job security
3. Cindy McCain: John's busted and can't continue gambling her money
4. Italee: The US distributor for Kawasaki 704, Sarah Palin's glasses
5. Arrowhead: Bigger profits due to so many people gathering around water coolers
6. Bristol and Levi: Probably will get a nice wedding gift from the McCains
7. CBS: People suddenly realize that Katie Couric is still on television
8. O.J. Simpson: No one is paying attention to the fact that he's on trial again
9. Heather Locklear: No one is paying attention to her arrest for DUI last week
10. Canada: And any other country where Americans are planning to emigrate if McCain is elected
11. George Bush: McCain makes him look sensible and Palin makes him look smart
12. The moose population: Sarah is away campaigning--- not in Alaska shooting
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